Lessons from my mother
1. The love I have for my future kids will always be my priority. Since getting engaged, I can't stop thinking about the life I will have with my fiancée, especially for when we have kids of our own. As I plan our wedding, my rationale to stay within my budget is that my wedding is a big day, but the biggest day of our lives will be when we have children. You've heard it a billion times - the gift of life is truly a miracle. My mother has lived every day of her life with the philosophy that my three younger siblings and I are the greatest gift she's ever received. Of course, there have been days when having four kids isn't so fun. But my mother always make sure to tell us she loves us, and that we mean everything to her.
2. Loving your spouse doesn't always mean you'll be happy. I've seen my mother sacrifice a lot of things for the benefit of my father, and as we all know, having to sacrifice things we want doesn't always make us happy. But more than her happiness, my mother loves my father, and if his happiness results from her sacrifice, it's worth it. I love my future husband more than I ever imagined I could, and I've also sacrifice more for him than I ever thought I would for a man. I've happily and willingly made these sacrifices, and I thank my mother for the strength to do so, knowing that what makes him happy will ultimately make me happy.
3. Loving your kids doesn't always mean they'll understand at first. I can not tell you how many times I fought the love my mom (and dad) tried to show me by enforcing curfew and continually questioning what I was doing on the weekend. To be honest, I hated how over-protective and possessive they seemed, and I had no interest in trying to understand how they were "loving" me by "making me miserable". Their definition of tough love sounded more like social torture to me. To be blunt, I was stupid. I thank God for the epiphany I suddenly realized one day that tough love was more difficult for them than it was for my social scheduling. It would have been 100 times easier for them to let me do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, rather than trying to protect me. I'm thankful that my need for pride is outweighed by my want to acknowledge that yes, my parents were right, and only ever had my best interest and safety at heart.
4. In difficult and sad situations, you want more than anything to be strong for your family. I've never met a stronger woman than my mother. As a woman who lost both of her parents to tragic and sudden causes by the time she was 40, what I remember most at both of my grandparents' funerals was that my mom was a stronghold for my siblings and I. As we cried into her shoulders, waiting for her reassuring touch as she played with our hair, whispering that everything would be alright, I never gave much thought to the healing we may have deprived my mother of. My mother ignored her need to grieve, to cry with her siblings, to be held my by father, her process for healing, to comfort her children. I can not fathom the strength it took for her to be that for us, and I pray that I can be then same for my children.
On this day, whether or not you have the opportunity to be with your mother, I encourage you to think of what your mother has done for you, what she has taught you, and what she has been for you. My mother has been my best friend, my protector, my strength in hard times, my encouragement in discouraging times, my cheerleader in good times, and my fighter when I am too weak. The woman that has been all of these things and so much more for me is the woman I can only hope to be a fraction of some day.
Mom, I love you. Happy Mother's Day.
 |
| L to R: The woman I am, and the woman I want to be. |
No comments:
Post a Comment